MMORPG Info Logo You Broke My Desk

There is a rant forum called “Bad Roleplayers Suck” where LiveJournal users congregate to complain about bad roleplaying. Two years ago this wonderful thread appeared, in which an irate player, going by the nickname of quizzicalsphinx, posted to complain bitterly about a fellow player.

It seems that zia_narratora had allowed an NPC in the game to unexpectedly smash a desk belonging to quizzicalsphinx’s character. This would normally seem a trivial event but quizzicalsphinx was not at all happy about this. She felt she should have been given some warning or better yet, a chance to stop it from happening.

She posted to the forum with her complaint and what followed was one of the most amusing arguments about roleplay that I’ve ever seen.

As the post resulted in a lot of comments, I’ve gone ahead and recreated a thread of highlights here.

Godmodding + NPC + Lack of OOC Consent = 🙁

quizzicalsphinx wrote in bad_rpers_suck:

Current mood: angry

Dear Fellow Mod,

In the future, please give me more than a post’s worth of warning before you use your NPC to smash my character’s personal belongings. Seriously. I don’t think any of you quite realise how special and important that desk was to my character, and I would appreciate knowing if I’m going to have to send my character into a couple of weeks of mourning. I also do not like the fact that you exposed me to all your oh-so-hilarious OOC comments expressing your glee that the desk was destroyed. If you’re going to be so immature as to laugh at something that will seriously affect my character in a prolonged and negative way, perhaps I just need to find myself some new RP partners.

Pissed off,
The Other Mod

zia_narratora wrote:
What the hell?

Look, it’s a freaking desk. If I threw a tantrum every time one of YOUR characters ripped MY character’s trousers without asking, I would have burst a blood vessel by now.


quizzicalsphinx wrote:
You knew what that desk meant to her! I really don’t want to have to play my character going all emo for like a whole in-game week, but now it looks like I’m going to have to.

And you’ve played his trousers getting ripped about a dozen times by now so that he can get in close with the little tailor chick. Kindly STFU now.

zia_narratora wrote:
Excuse me? I wasn’t the one who thought it was funny to keep ripping them over and over again. You were the one who started throwing your stupid character at him every time in happened. He was fine sewing them up himself.

Jesus. I asked you what would happen if the desk broke. Are you incapable of being like “Oh, don’t break the desk, break the bed/table/bookshelves instead?”

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
THROWING herself!? Dude practically turns into a stammering moron every time he gets near her and she’s throwing herself?

I told you what would happen if the desk broke. I considered my response negative enough that you would realise I did not want to play this out. It’s not my fault you can’t read clear signals.

zia_narratora wrote:
I don’t think “Well, she’d have to buy a new desk” properly conveys “I am going to turn into a screaming ball of rolltop angst.”

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
You are deliberately interrogating my response from the wrong perspective.

zia_narratora wrote:
And the right perspective is which? With a piece of splintered furniture lodged in my brain?

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
Now you’re just being snarky.

chaos_slave wrote:
Oh geez, it isn’t like your ship was the thing she broke. You know something actually important to the rp and your character.

/tiniest violin

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
You’re not even in this game. You don’t know the massive amount of backstory behind this desk.

chaos_slave wrote:
Let me guess, this desk was the only thing your beloved father who tragically died left you wasn’t it?

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
First off, me =/= my character. Secondly, when you say it like that, you make it sound all Mary-Sueish when it really isn’t. It’s honestly a plotpoint.

zia_narratora wrote:

Christ, it’s a desk. Have that dwarf she’s sleeping with make her a new one.

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
I know you all think it’s drop-dead hilarious that there’s a dwarf in this game, but he’s a completely serious character and I wish you could respect that.

zia_narratora wrote:
You’re right. I really should. It’s beneath me.

and so is he.

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
My character’s first love was an oakman–a fairy creature–and you see they’re really supposed to be evil and murder lost travellers, but this one was a nice oakman who was cast out by his brethern on account of how they wanted him to kill my character when she was lost but he wouldn’t? And so she fell in love with him and he with her, but alas! When she tried to replant him, he died due to a tragic change in soil acidity before they could consumate their love. In tribute to their love, she had him made into a desk. Now his spirit watches over her. Or it did before zia_narratora derailed that whole storyline practically without even asking.

zia_narratora wrote:
What the fuck? You didn’t ever tell me all of that.

*Is secretly sort of glad she killed him now*

chaos_slave wrote:
Got Wood?

eris_rising wrote:

Oh, wait, that sounds dirty now…

quizzicalsphinx wrote:
Trust me, I had a storyline all ready to go when this happened. I’m glad you all still think this is funny. I hope you have some really funny ideas for the next SL, because now that the desk is gone my plans are RUINED.

Of course, eventually the two primary posters could no longer keep a straight face and admitted that the whole thing was a rather elaborate April Fool’s joke.

You can read the discussion in its entirety at bad_rpers_suck: Godmodding + NPC + Lack of OOC Consent = 🙁



  • Lynette wrote:

    I’m QuizzicalSphinx, and oh, my God, I hadn’t even realised that story had made the rounds outside of BRPS. But you’ve led me to a really neat website! ::bookmarks::

    (If you search through the BRPS archives, zia_narratora and I do some kind of half-ass April Fool’s joke there every year.)

  • Taymar wrote:

    It was brilliant. I will definitely go search, I’d love to see what else you’ve done. 🙂

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