This just will not do.
I know, you are new to the Kingdom and it’s just a campground but that doesn’t mean you can’t fix the place up a bit.
First things first, there is no way you can possibly get a decent night’s rest sleeping on the ground. Even the lowliest Accordion Thief has a tent for shelter. The better your dwelling, the more HP and MP you regain when you rest there and the more protection you will have if you decide to take part in player vs. player combat.
Go to the Market in Seaside Town and buy a tent for 40 meat.
Stake it down and there you have it, a comfy spot to sleep from day one. Even the lowliest newbie can afford a tent.
If you are level two, though, you shouldn’t need to buy a tent as you can make your own.
- Head over to the Spooky Forest in the woods and start adventuring. Your goal is to kill bars until you receive a bar skin.
- As you are fighting, you should run into the famous Vampire Hunger G. He’ll give you some wooden stakes (assuming you don’t already have some)
- Combine the bar skin and the wooden stakes with the help of some meat paste and you’ll make a barskin tent. Hurrah!
For the truly discerning adventurer, this comfortable little cottage is the best option for anyone under level 9.
- Adventure at the Outskirts of Cobb’s Knobs and you’ll gain a number of different food items, including a bowl of cottage cheese. Collect one of these, making sure not to eat it!
Anticheese is more difficult. It is an uncommon drop at a higher level, at which point the cottage is no longer desirable.
The easiest option by far is to buy this from another player at the flea market in Seaside Town.
If you wish to get this on your own at low level, you’ll have to take multiple trips with the Shore, Inc. Travel Agency:
- Complete the initial quests from your chief in your guild
- Complete the Bitchin’ Meatcar Quest from your guild in order to get access to Desert Beach. there is a full write-up at the KoL wiki: Bitchin’ Meatcar Quest
- Travel to Desert Beach and choose the Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure – note, this costs 3 adventures at 500 meat per trip.
- Receive the anticheese as a random drop from Testing Grounds, 1…2…3… sequence at the Distant Lands Dude Ranch Adventure
This is the nicest low-level dwelling available for your campsite.
- Achieve level 9
- Visit the Council of Loathing and you’ll be told that they have received mail for you: a strange leaflet.
- Use the strange leaflet in your quest items and you’ll find yourself trapped in a text adventure. Explore the adventure (this can be done in stages, type exit to return to KoL and read the leaflet again to return to the adventure) and find the treasure chest in a cave. Inside of it is a Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House [TM]. (Full spoiler is on the KoL wiki at Strange Leaflet Walkthrough)
- Use the Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant House (TM) from your west items inventory and hey presto, you now have a house.
Congratulations! You are now at least a step above the hobos passed out in the back alleyway clutching their bottles of Mad Train Wine. It’s a start.
Stay tuned for our next addition of KoL Better Homes and Gardens, featuring good feng shui, practicalities of getting a maid and why every household needs a bartender-in-a-box.